Watch out

I am home today, not because of the snow but because psychologically I couldn't make myself go to my client today.  She is a wonderful lady.  She has had a life of leisure and has no idea how other people who have not had what she has live, and she does not want to know.  She hates unions because they took her away from friends and family in Kansas and she had to move to Boulder, which she hates.  She is a Republican and tries to convince me that she is right and I am wrong, especially being a "bleeding heart Liberal", which is something she can't tolerate.

Out of all of the above, I am finding that she and I have some things in common.  I have, I am ashamed to say, not been tolerant of people who are blind to what is going on and believe lies (something they can check on and won't) told to them by those in authority.  I have very little tolerance of racism and she is very racist.  She tries to be a kind, really.  I guess it was the way she was raised and she is perfectly happy with it.  She is in her 80's and looks much younger, sometimes it makes me jealous, but not THAT jealous.

Anyway, today I realized that I really am in control of my life and I need to do something about what is going on.  I didn't go into work because of bowel problems, later I realized I was putting pressure on my body in that area and caused the problem myself.  As far as not wanting to go to the client I can change that as well.  I'm not sure I have made much sense so far, oh well.

I made a decision yesterday to sell my washer and dryer as well as most of my furniture.  It is very scary for me but strangely I feel relieved.  I hope it works out.  I am also looking to see if I can find something to do at home, something I have looked at before and maybe, this time, it will work out.  I want to draw and paint, so I need to make myself do it.  I can do what needs to be done, it's just a matter of making myself do it.  I can tolerate this client as well because I am not going to be with her much longer.  What is bad is she thinks she is my friend.

I guess I covered everything.