The other day I found out more about myself.  A client who is a Republican said something to the effect that since Obama had been elected that it didn't matter whether you were a U.S. citizen or not and that he had spent time with his father in the country of his father's origin.  When I tried to tell her that all of that was nonsense, she laughed and said that I would believe anything anyone said and didn't have a clue as to what truth was.  I got so angry that I excused myself and went to the garage to calm down.  When I went back in I apologized for getting so angry and she apologized as well.  She is a racist and I have known it for a long time, but somehow never expected this.  On the way home I felt I was under control again.  I wasn't.  I went spiraling downward in a deep funk for seven hours and just wanted to die, literally.  I thought about saying I no longer wanted to work with this client, but decided against that.  I thought about quitting my job, but I can't afford to do that either.  I know I can't afford to let things like this get to me.  Everyone has a right to be who they are.  I love this client and should be able to overlook this, but somehow I can't.  I am not as tolerant as I thought I was and that is a disappointment.

I truly am afraid of what lies ahead for this country.  I don't want to vote for Hillary because she lies about what she will do for all of us.  Why do I say that?  Because she never brought up anything in her campaign about low wages, affordable college education, corruption of large banks...all the things Bernie stands for and touts.  She claims things that, if you check out, are untrue.  As for Trump, that is very clear, he will be a dictator that we will never get rid of and most people will be hounded, driven out of the U.S. or left to die.  I'm not exaggerating about this.  I have two women, both Jews, who lived through Hitler's regime in Europe and both say he is Hitler incarnate.

So, with all of this going on, I have lost interest in art, writing and jewelry.  I have got to get on track and get my life going.  If I don't I know what will happen and I'm not ready to die.